FOOD REVIEW -- Ellie's Kitchen & Catering, Friendswood, TX

You asked for it, and here it comes: Restaurant reviews!

The first installment highlights a restaurant I just found rather than one of my old favorites. I'll come back to them later. Watch this space.

I was told of a new Greek restaurant slightly off the beaten path in Friendswood, and since I loves me some Greek food I was all over it.

Ellie is the owner, and she has created a masterpiece of neighborhood dining with this little hole-in-the-wall gem. When you step inside, the walls are painted with images from the Greek isles, with plenty of white stucco and blue highlights. The atmosphere, overall, is warm and welcoming. When Ellie greets you and talks about her food, her home in Cyprus, and the restaurant, you immediately know that she's the source of that welcome feeling. She is absolutely charming. Regulars abound, as it really is a neighborhood restaurant.

But enough about people. We're here to discuss food.

Most of the Greek eateries I've been to in the US have a fairly predictable menu: Gyro meat, chicken, pitas, Greek salad, dolmas, and various other items based on apparently random factors. The flavor tends to be the same, too: dolmas in most Greek places are the same ones I get out of a can from the local middle-eastern grocery. In fact, they're often served right out of the can: cold, clammy, and oily.

Ellie's was a really nice change. Her dolmas are made in house (as is everything she serves), and they are fantastic. Served warm with a tangy, slightly spicy flavor, it was the perfect entre into the rest of the meal. An order of dolmas (choice of meat or vegetarian) includes two plus a tzaziki sauce cup.

I'm a big fan of Spanakopita, or spinach pies as they are listed on Ellie's menu. Light fillo pastry triangles filled with feta cheese and spinach and served hot. Ellie said she thought that most Spanakopita were too tart, so she buffers the tang of the feta by mixing it with ricotta. The result is pure magic. She warned me that I would have to wait about 10 minutes for her to chill the pies before baking, but it was definitely worth the wait. I would have waited 30 minutes and made a meal of them (well, I would have needed more than the two pies that comes with an order, obviously).

Between the appetizers and the main course we got a small Greek salad. It consisted of the typical Greek salad ingredients, but was noteworthy in that they didn't overdo it with the dressing. It had a great tart flavor without the oilyness you get some places.

Main course: Moussaka. Wonderful. It's kind of like a Greek (or middle eastern) lasagna. Also reminiscent of shepherd's pie, only with vegetables and flavor. A baked casserole of seasoned ground beef layered with potato slices, eggplant, and yellow squash (!!), and topped with a creamy, whipped-cheese meringue (well, meringue-like). The serving size was on the large end of the scale, leading to a discussion of whether we'd be able to finish it. Of course, your humble servant had no such reservations. I would order it again the next time I eat there, but alas, there are other entrees I must try.

The sad consequence of my gluttony was that I was unable to try the desserts. After what she created with the spanakopita, I can only dream about what her baklava must be like.

I had to ask the waitress to refill my water. That's a pet peeve of mine.

Overall, excellent value. Great food, tricky to locate if you're not from the area.

Ellie's Kitchen & Catering
102 S. Friendswood Dr.
Friendswood, TX
281-648-2973

Way Overdue

Once again I'm way overdue in posting something to the old blog. Sorry about that -- there's just WAY too much stuff to write about to fit in one post, so I'll shotgun a few posts with my top thoughts.

Let's start with the syphilitic elephant in the room: healthcare. An innocent girl recently died because nobody would assume the financial burden of performing a liver transplant and committing to the long-term care of a transplant recipient. Most are blaming Cigna for her death, and that's appropriate because insurers are nothing more than parasites on the healthcare monster. However, I've heard at least one commenter ask why the hospital (UCLA, if I remember correctly) couldn't proceed with the operation and fight with Cigna over the costs later.

The very discussion of who should pay and how illustrates the problem with the US healthcare system in general. We're spending our time worrying about who's profiting or losing money while the clock ticks on someone's life. Healthcare and corporate profit/loss have no business being in the same discussion. You end up with criminal decisions like whether it's cheaper to redesign the Ford Pinto or pay the damages caused when they explode.

As I've said before, the best solution is to spread the risk of loss equally among the entire population rather than throw us into a feeding frenzy of profit-hungry corporations. We've got a model (medicare) that works. Let's spend our energy expanding that program and fixing its flaws instead of continuing to let Americans die so that some CEO can afford to upgrade his BMW.

Best. Wedding. Ever.

An informal poll of the attendees I was with yielded a unanimous vote that the wedding in PV, MX was absolutely the best wedding any of us had ever attended.

It wasn't one of those "coronation ceremonies" that some girls like, with hundreds of guests and tens of thousands of dollars spent on decorations. It was a family-oriented, fun-filled vacation that culminated in the joining of two wonderful hearts. The bride and groom seemed as interested in having fun as they were in getting married, but the ceremony was an emotional, meaningful one that did not dilute the significance of the event.

The setup for the wedding itself was conducted in "local time," meaning the guests were assembling while they were still fitting the covers on the seats at the starting time. It didn't bother any of us (non-family guests), but I can imagine that the bride was anxious. The groom confided to me that she was a little nervous about the details during the lead-up, but every time I saw her she was happy and excited. Oh, yeah, and she looked absolutely gorgeous during the ceremony.

The bride and groom made certain that everyone was well taken care of -- nothing was left to chance, and they helped us maximize our enjoyment. The hotel arrangements were fantastic, the weather could not have been better, and the Spouse and I made some new friends that I hope to keep in contact with. We had a lot of laughs, saw some beautiful scenery, and just relaxed and enjoyed being with our friends (old and new). A few days in paradise.

I know we all told her how great a time we had. I hope that meant something to her, but most of all I hope she has as many wonderful memories of that day as we do. It was her day, and of course it was much more than a vacation to her – it was the start of what I hope will be a long, happy, and loving marriage. It couldn't happen to a better couple!

We asked her to please consider renewing her vows next year, but she wouldn't commit.

Vallarta Adventures

Today we took a boat from Nuevo Vallarta south to a private reserve called las Caletas, owned by an entertainment company called Vallarta Adventures. They offer several excursions around the Puerta Vallarta area, including jeep tours of the Sierra Madre mountains, dive trips to the Marietas islands, and an outdoor adventure trip that includes ATVs, donkey rides, rappelling, and other unnatural acts.

Our trip was tame by comparison. We went to the Vallarta Adventures HQ, caught the small catamaran to las Caletas, and disembarked. Las Caletas is a beach reserve with trails up into the hills, several bars, and a restaurant. The trip price included the boat transport, breakfast, lunch, snorkelling, a monkey & parrot interaction, and the chance to get away from things for a day. We did get a couple of extra excursions (i.e., they cost extra). The spouse got a massage and I snorkelled with a 320 lb sea lion. Very interesting.

I considered diving, but the dive master talked me out of it. He said that although some people were doing their open water dives, certified divers would not enjoy the dive because water conditions were so bad. He was correct: I cut my snorkelling trip short because all I saw was murk. I generally have better vis in our freshwater lakes than I saw at las Caletas! Apparently, good dive conditions are several months off.

We had good paella, and some fantastic flan and tres leches.

So far, for an "all-inclusive" vacation, we're spending a lot on extras. Oh, well. It's Spouse's only chance to travel this year since she didn't have any vacation built up. We're having fun, though!

Mas mañana!

¡Puerto Vallarta!

I know it, I'm a shit. I get absolutely no sympathy from anyone, and why should I? Australia, Cozumel, Dives in the Gulf of Mexico, the Galápagos, now Puerto Vallarta. Poor KevDiver. :(

We're here for the wedding of one of the spouse's good friends, so my excuse is that it's not my fault we had to go to México. Not my fault -- remember that!

We flew in today, spent most of the afternoon trying to figure out how to eat (it's an "all inclusive" resort, but with serious restrictions on the "all" part). We finally figured it out, and it didn't involve raiding the parrot enclosure or harpooning the very delicious-looking ostriches (or their eggs).

Bright & early tomorrow we're catching a boat to an island called "Las Caletas" for some peace. I'll snorkel & maybe dive, get a massage, take some photos, and basically just unwind far away from civilization. Looking forward to it, especially since I will be working wicked hard as soon as I return to work through the end of the year.

I have access to the 'net (obviously), so I'll try and do better than I did during my Galápagos trip.

Really wish my Spanish was better. I was able to get two pool towels without using a word of English!

Hasta Mañana!

A Few Galapagos Pictures

I know I've been a blog-slacker. Sorry 'bout that.

Here are a few small pics from Galapagos. The amazing thing about the land wildlife was how close you could get to them. Many of them had no fear of humans. Check this out:

This is a sleepy sea lion pup sunning himself on the path.















Here is a land iguana that let me get up-close-and-personal:















The marine creatures were more circumspect. They were curious, but basically behaved the same way they do everywhere else. Way up north at Darwin Island, this hammerhead shark gave me a fly-by:















Here's a shot of a Galapagos shark that came in to check me out:

And finally, the monster we'd all hoped to see:

A 50 ft. whale shark (one of nine we saw this trip)!

Leaving Galapagos

Well, we are back at the Baltra airport with a couple of hours until our flight leaves. I will try to post again when we get to Quito tonight because I bought an 18 minute internet card and time is ticking away.

All but two or three of the passengers ended up with nasty respiratory infections, but everyone snagged antibiotics and kicked it. Hopefully I will be almost well by the time I get home.

I did a total of 16 dives over the week, and saw many many sharks. I got to swim very close to two huge whale sharks and we were almost continuously surrounded by Galapagos and hammerhead sharks. I got a few good pictures, but suffered with technical problems most of the trip.

Other than that, all's well -- I did end up with a few good pictures and some wonderful memories! I also got some great ideas for new scuba equipment I want to buy!

Waiting for "de plane"

We're camped out in the Quito airport, Domestic terminal. It's like every other airport terminal I've seen, except that the air reeks of exhaust fumes.

Our Aerogal flight from Quito is an hour late due to morning fog. We're flying to Guayaquil, then on to Baltra in the Galapagos.

Travelling with an experienced group is the best way to travel. Our luggage was handled from the hotel to the plane, and Aggressor is to handle it from Baltra to the boat. Our airline tickets were waiting for us at the airport, and the tips were collected and disbursed for the group.

One nice thing is that everyone seems to be a lot of fun. There are even several guys who share my sense of humor. There are only two women in our group - the rest are middle-aged men. Big surprise: That's normal for dive trips.

One of the guys has been commenting on how clean Quito is. I don't agree: Although I've seen much dirtier cities, I wouldn't call it clean.

Once we arrive in Baltra, we'll be loaded onto the Galapagos Aggressor II and move to our first dive site while we gear up. We'll do a checkout dive to get our weights set, then have a welcome aboard party. As I understand it, overnight we'll sail 200 mi WNW to Darwin/Wolf Islands, where we'll spend the majority of our time. The objective is to be surrounded by huge marine creatures, mostly sharks and rays.

More when possible!

The Equator

Today we explored the monument at the equator, then went into Quito and hit an old market where they sold indigenous crafts. I bought a couple of gifts for certain people and I'm working on how to pack them for the trip out & home.

The weather was chilly and it rained this afternoon, so it wasn't all that fun to look around. The conventional wisdom is that we're prisoners in the hotel after dark, so we're resolved to amuse ourselves indoors.

Here's a pic of me on the equator.

Quito, Ecuador

We arrived safely, but it was a late nite. Altitude is making it hard to breathe. More tomorrow.

Update:
I'm now using the hotel's computer center (at 0.20/min), but at least I have full access! I'll take some pictures today and see about posting one or two to give you the feel for this place. So far, all I've seen is the hotel; though it's very nice, it's not really different from any other chain hotel I've occupied.

The air is very thin and I get out of breath easily. We're meeting for breakfast at 10 and heading out for an adventure at 12. We're going to straddle the equator!

Butterflies

Well, tomorrow I leave for Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands.

I'll be spending two days in Quito, the capitol, and then seven days aboard the dive boat Galapagos Aggressor II. We'll return to Quito for one night then fly home.

I'm diving with some folks out of South Padre Island, Texas, who have reserved the entire boat. Not all of the 14 passengers are from Texas, but everyone knows Tim. He has been leading this trip once a year for a long time, and I feel a lot better being with experienced traveller/divers that I know and trust. Still, I'm feeling butterflies and I've packed and repacked a couple of times just to make sure I've done it right.

This is the biggie: Tim calls it the "Superbowl of Diving." The water's cold, the currents are strong, and it's no simple (cheap) matter to get there. But like the Superbowl, there's a big payoff just for playing: We'll see some fantastic wildlife, dive in challenging conditions, and will visit the spot where man first began to understand the big picture of the development of life on this planet. It will be a really nice set of dives to enter into my logbook!

Do a Google search for Galapagos and dive and you'll see the phenomenal array of sea life that inhabits the waters around the islands. Sea lions, penguins, and marine iguanas can be found in the shallows, while large schools of jacks and even hammerhead sharks are present a little farther out. In the far northwest, around Darwin and Wolf Islands (a 16-hr boat trip from the main islands), huge whale sharks are often seen with schools of Galapagos and hammerhead sharks. Due to popular demand, our boat will spend most of its time up in the northwest.

There will be dives in other areas where we'll be able to see red-lipped batfish, sea horses, and other small creatures. On our land excursions we'll see the sea lions, iguanas, giant tortoises, and a wide variety of the famous Galapagos birds.

On the downside, I won't have access to the Internet for much of the trip, so I won't be able to share my observations in real-time. As I did in Australia, I'll hand-write my posts and publish them when I get to a computer.

Well, I have to re-pack my camera bag again. I'm not convinced it's perfect. So I'll sign off for now and try to post when I can get to a computer again.

The Verdict

I just met with Mistress Amber, and God bless her it looks like all the abuse she put me through has paid off. I lost a total of 17 lbs (7%) and reduced my body fat percentage by 11%. My belly shrunk by 16%.

Lest you think that's a measly loss for six months of work, remember that I didn't care about weight loss when I started: I was only interested in stamina and upper body strength, and Mistress Amber designed my program to achieve these goals. The fat loss was simply a side effect, and something that's easy to measure. Regretfully I don't have hard data on stamina or strength. Subjectively I know that I can go longer and faster on the cardio equipment than when I started and that she's been able to add more weight to each exercise.

Also, I must confess that I've not exhibited a lot of discipline in the cardio department. She said that I would have seen more improvement had I been more consistent in doing it. As I said, I've seen some improvement. I may not be able to determine how (or whether) the work I've been doing has had any impact on my diving. Since I've been doing SOMETHING I have to assume that it will be better than having done NOTHING.

Another Dive Adventure

I'll talk about my frenetic preparations for next week's Galapagos trip in a later post, but I had to gush about a new opportunity that just came up!

I've been invited to be a safety diver during a video shoot for the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department!

The week after I return from Ecuador, the Texas Parks & Wildlife Department (TPWD) will be sinking the USTS Texas Clipper 17 miles off the S. Texas coast to form an artificial reef. The projected date is November 15. She will come to rest on the sandy floor, about 134 feet deep, after having undergone years of pre-sinking cleanup and other preparations. Click on the link above for more details.

The Clipper's keel was laid in Maryland in 1944, and although built as a merchant ship she served the U.S. Navy as the troop transport USS Queens during WWII in the Pacific theater. She was decommissioned as a military vessel in 1946. From 1948 to 1958, commissioned the S.S. Excambion, she was a combination freight/passenger liner serving Mediterranean ports of call.

In 1965, she was commissioned the U.S.T.S. Texas Clipper and served as a training ship for maritime students at Texas A&M - Galveston until 1996.

The man who is leading our trip to the Galapagos Islands operates a technical dive instruction center, dive shop, and dive boat in South Padre Island, TX. The day after the Clipper is reefed, he will be leading a team shooting a video to document the condition of the ship after it settles to the bottom. While I was chatting with him about Galapagos, we started talking about the reefing and he invited me to serve as a safety diver for this project. The videography teams will be making longer-than-normal dives, and safety divers provide support for them during decompression and to serve as rescue divers in the event of an accident.

If it pans out, this will be a fantastic opportunity for me. I will be one of the very first divers to see the Clipper on the bottom! Plus, I'll be helping document this project for future generations to learn about the Clipper and the artificial reef project.

Yuck

Well, I finally did it. I'm in a Holiday Inn in south-central Louisiana and I swam in their pool. For the record, that's ME -- doing water-based exercise -- while on travel.

Unfortunately, the conditions weren't that great. The pool was big enough (barely), but the visibility was almost 4 ft. For you non-divers, we measure water conditions in terms of visibility: How far can you see while you're underwater. In the freshwater lakes I usually dive in vis is from 0' to 2'. In the Gulf it varies between 40 and 60'. In the Caribbean it's often 100-120'. The hotel pool was so turbid I couldn't clearly see my feet while I was floating on the surface, feet down.

I was going to use the treadmill, but it was broken. I considered running, but the only road is an Interstate access road and one of our team members was very nearly struck by a car running it this morning. So I'll probably swim it again, since I've dived in bodies of water I'd normally never consider swimming in, and braved God-knows-what kind of amoebas, planaria, and what-not without a thought. At least with a little chlorine the bacteria might be too stunned (stoned?) to hurt me.

This hotel sucks. I'm going to post bad things about it on travel websites to warn others away.

You have to check out this blog:

http://www.iamemilyx.blogspot.com/

The anti-choice crowd have started a 40-day picketing campaign against Planned Parenthood, and Planned Parenthood is responding by collecting donations for each picketer counted. I pledged $0.10/picketer. Picket away! Call all your friends to join you! More money for womens' health and reproductive freedom!

The misinformation these poor people are spreading to fight abortion is just pathetic. Note that I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. Some of them know damn well how wrong their information is (like the ludicrous opinion that abortion causes breast cancer) but they nonetheless will stop at nothing to control every woman's body in the name of "morality."

But there's an awakening going on, thanks to the SCHIP clusterfuck. Even the religious community is publicly acknowledging that being "pro-life" doesn't stop at forcing someone to have a child. Provision must be made for all children to be adequately loved, fed, sheltered, and kept healthy. In fact, some groups are even questioning how you can be "pro-life" and still support our participation in the Iraq civil war. If your senator or representative is opposing SCHIP, Democrat or Republican, call them and make your voice heard.

Sorry I've been slacking lately -- I wanted this blog to be mainly dive stuff but there hasn't been any action to speak of. Also, I've been growing tired (and frustrated) with the political stuff.

Seventeen days until I leave for the Galapagos! I'll put a few more posts up between now and then, but won't have access to a computer while I'm gone.

Patience . . .

Just a little longer now.

"A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolve, and the people, recovering their true sight, restore their government to its true principles. It is true that in the mean time we are suffering deeply in spirit, and incurring the horrors of a war & long oppressions of enormous public debt.... If the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have patience till luck turns, & then we shall have an opportunity of winning back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are the stake."

-- Thomas Jefferson

Golden (??!!) Triangle, Texas

Yay.

I'm in sunny Port Arthur, Texas. Its only claim to fame is that this is where Janis Joplin hailed from. There's even a museum for her, but I don't think we'll make it over there this trip. Sorry, Janis, it's just not Graceland.

An AP article published today (http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/health/2007-09-09-risk-penalties_N.htm?csp=34) discusses the trend of companies charging their employees for failing certain health metrics. There was an opinion piece by Dr. Arthur Caplan on the MSNBC website a few weeks ago (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20181526/) that really lit a fire under me to oppose this trend. Please go read it yourself, but to summarize it encourages employees to be thoughtful when weighing discounts (or penalties) offered (or threatened) by employers against the value of your personal privacy. The MSNBC article pointed out that it's not an unreasonable extension of the "increasing insurance costs" logic to charge employees extra if they engage in "risky" behavior. Like SCUBA diving. No, thanks. You can take your money and shove it. I'll keep my private self private.

You've got to check out the archive of the Australian TV show The Chaser's War on Everything. These are the guys who just recently created a "motorcade" with Canadian flags and got within 10 meters of the Shrub's hotel in Sydney during the APEC conference. And one of the passengers was dressed as Osama bin Laden!

From the Chaser's War website:

"If you've got a tip off or a gripe, don't tell MediaWatch they'll just make a legitimate point on your behalf. That may give you some satisfaction, but it won't be as satisfying, or as fun, as getting the Chaser team to wreak some revenge for you."

You can find the show at http://abc.net.au/tv/chaser/war/ . There's a year or so of back episodes that you can download or stream to your computer. Bloody hilarious! A lot of the gags relate to Aussie politics, but just roll with it and pretend you understand until they get on to another topic. Thanks to Lesley for pointing me to that archive.

More on National Healthcare

"Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane."
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

At least someone's hard at work on solving the healthcare problem. California is chewing on a pro-insurance healthcare "reform" bill that feeds the insurers, but the California Nurses Association and the National Nurses Organizing Committee are showing how bad that bill is. Please look at their website, guaranteedhealthcare.org, learn about the issues, and tell those who have been or want to be elected to office about how important healthcare is to our nation. Here's one to get you started:

Children's Mental Health, Social Decay, and Big Profits

The number of pre-adolescent children diagnosed with bipolar disorder has skyrocketed since the mid-1990s, according to a very sketchy Associated Press article today summarizing a study by Dr. Mark Olfson of Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute and partially funded by NIMH.

Throughout the mid 1990s the number of kids diagnosed with, and medicated for, ADHD also increased dramatically. One explanation was that the medical community (and society at large) had become more comfortable acknowledging the existence and validity of pathological psychiatric conditions. Another camp argued that parents who were unwilling to discipline unruly kids were jumping at the possibility that a pathological dysfunction was to blame, thus absolving them of the charge of failure to discipline.

I'm sure that there is some truth to both positions. The real question is what lies at the heart of the increase? By the title of my entry, I bet you can guess where I'm headed: Money. Always follow the money. My outrage this time was ignited by a recent episode of the Australian Broadcasting Company's Radio National program "Background Briefing" entitled "Mentally Ill Children." The transcript is here:

http://www.abc.net.au/rn/backgroundbriefing/stories/2007/2012718.htm#transcript

You can listen to the radio show by streaming or downloading the audio from the same page.

The obvious link between profits and psychiatry can be seen in the MASSIVE amount of money being thrown into advertising campaigns for "new" psychotropic drugs. The pharmaceutical industry is happy to validate any diagnosis that they can sell a "cure" for. If you want a disturbing example of the lengths to which big pharma will go to make money, do an internet search for "Neurontin," an anti-seizure drug that Pfizer Pharmaceuticals and its subsidiary Warner-Lambert manufactured. Although the FDA approved the use of Neurontin as an anti-siezure medication in 1993, Pfizer and its subsidiaries heavily marketed Neurontin to psychiatrists for a variety of unapproved ("off-label") uses. They pushed its use for bipolar disorder, ADD, migraines, drug/alcohol withdrawal, restless-leg syndrome, and even Lou Gehrig's disease, despite scientific studies showing it to be ineffective for these conditions. In 2004 Warner-Lambert pled guilty and paid more than $430 million to resolve criminal and civil charges that its off-label marketing of Neurontin was illegal and fraudulent. In addition, over 300 lawsuits were filed alleging that Neurontin contributed to suicidality in certain patients. More information on this case can be found here:

http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/2004/404_wl.html

Parents of children that have been flagged by school counselors as problems can attest to another phenomenon: If a psychologist or psychiatrist diagnoses the child as having a coping disorder or other non-pathological condition, their insurance company is likely to refuse reimbursement or payment for treatment. However, they will reimburse healthcare providers if the condition is pathological and medication is prescribed. Since it's easier for a psychologist or psychiatrist to collect fees from an insurance company than from an individual, guess which alternative the professional is likely to choose: Follow the money.

Are we as a society becoming less tolerant of people that fall outside the "norms" of behavior? Wasn't Albert Einstein a poor student? I think he ended up OK even without Ritalin. Why are kids that don't want to conform to the expectations of the majority shunned as pariahs? I'm really worried that after generations of "fixing" kids who are different we will crush the creative spirits that make our life interesting. Fortunately, there are still parents who welcome this diversity of thought. I just hope our schools don't take on the role of thought police. Orwell's 1984 didn't just warn against a political hell, but a social one as well. We'd do well to heed his warning (though obviously we haven't).

Great Healthcare Analogy

I am an enthusiastic proponent of a national single-payer healthcare system, like a national medicare. The stats on medicare show it to be a much more cost-effective method of providing basic healthcare than our current hodgepodge of competing insurance companies and healthcare providers. It's no surprise that whenever I raise this issue with one of our indigenous conservatives, their knee-jerk reaction is always always ALWAYS! "socialized medicine -- bleah!" I'm not going to get into how a single-payer system is fundamentally different from socialized medicine. It's simple and you probably already understand it. If you don't, post a snide comment and I'll provide my quick summary.

Monday I read Paul Krugman's column in the NY Times that captured the cognitive dissonance that permeates the Republican position on healthcare reform.

You've heard the Republican talking points against a single-payer healthcare system: It should be left to the free market, I don't want my taxes paying to fix someone who smokes, If I work hard I get better medical care, etc.

What if you substituted K-12 education for healthcare? In order to be consistent with the Republican position on healthcare, I'd have to take the position that since I don't have kids, I shouldn't be required to subsidize the education of someone else's kids. I'd have to advocate creating an open market for education and abolishing public schools entirely. If I earn a lot of money, I should be able get my kids a first-rate education, and if you can't afford it you're simply not working hard enough and will have to settle for a low-budget school. The government shouldn't mandate education -- it should be a matter of individual responsibility. I simply can't agree with any part of that position. Just writing those few sentences made me throw up a little in my mouth.

Honestly, isn't access to healthcare a critical element of a nation's standard of living? (By the way, ours is slipping rapidly.) I know education is considered a key element, as is literacy. Why is access to education mandatory while Americans are thrown to the wolves when it comes to healthcare? If you are sick, you can't go to school, you can't work, and you become a burden to family; not to mention the economic impact when you can't afford to pay for the care you do receive.

Here's what Krugman says:

The truth is that there's no difference in principle between saying every American child is entitled to an education and saying every American child is entitled to adequate health care. It's just a matter of historical accident that we think of access to free K-12 education as a basic right, but consider having the government pay children's medical bills "welfare," with all the negative connotations that go with that term.

And conservative opposition to giving every child in this country access to health care is, in a fundamental sense, un-American.

Here's what I mean: The great majority of Americans believe that everyone is entitled to a chance to make the most of his or her life. Even conservatives usually claim to believe that.

But a child who doesn't receive adequate health care, like a child who doesn't receive an adequate education, doesn't have the same shot - he or she doesn't have the same chances in life as children who get both these things.

And insurance is crucial to receiving adequate health care. The reality is that the nine million children in America who don't have health insurance often have unmet medical or dental needs.

I scored a symbolic victory a while back in a debate with an ultra-conservative cow-orker. We were discussing the issue of the rising cost of healthcare (in the context of an MSNBC article about a woman who was bankrupted by cancer treatment costs in spite of having insurance), and how the problem lay in part with the marketing costs that insurance companies incur competing with one another. As the discussion reached a climax, he said "the bigger the pool of insured, the lower the cost to the insurance company." So, naturally, I suggested that if the pool consisted of the entire population of the US. . . .

That ended the conversation.

Please, God, let us throw them all out in 2008 and start the long, slow march back to sanity. Our standard of living should be IMPROVING, not DETERIORATING! If anyone's getting a free-ride in all this, it's the insurance companies, who have a DUTY to their stockholders to maximize profits. That profit mandate should be completely excised from access to healthcare in this country.

Troublemaking and Home-brewed Bioweapons

It's no surprise that it's a good idea to properly maintain any personal life support equipment you rely on, such as SCUBA gear. I'm religous about having my main gear (regulators and buoyancy compensator, or BC) overhauled once a year according to the manufacturer's recommendation. I'm also pretty good about taking care of my regulator, gauges, and dive computer after each dive. My BC gets hosed off and stored properly, though I might not be quite as thorough.

However, when it comes to my wetsuit, boots, gloves, hood, etc., I'm pretty bad. Generally I'll hang them up when I get back from a local dive but I've also been known to let them ferment in my dive bag for a day or so. Do you know what can grow in wet nylon-covered neoprene in the summer heat & humidity? Me neither, but by God it smells like hell. I had to toss my first pair of cheap booties because I couldn't stand being in the same car with them. Yes, they were that bad. The replacements were much more expensive, but they don't stink at all (Henderson Insta-Dry).

I dove at Medina Lake yesterday (Sunday) and dragged my gear bag to the back porch next to the washtub & water hose. And they are still there today, and the bioweapons are fermenting. . . .

Troublemaking - it's one of my specialties. Sometimes it's what makes life worth living.

I've been wanting to prank Mistress Amber in gratitude for the pain she's been so generous in sharing with me. Last weekend I put my plan in motion. I ordered a "support ribbon" similar to those ubiquitous "support our troops" ribbons that serve as insipid substitutes for providing REAL support to our troops.

However, the one I ordered encouraged tailgaters to "Support Lap Dancing." (For my sheltered and morally upstanding readers, lap dancing is what a topless dancer does for you one-on-one if you give her enough money.) Imagine the attention that a nice looking girl in a car bearing that ribbon would receive. I did, and I laughed my ass off.

Saturday was PERFECT for this plan. I worked out with her Sat morning, and she parked her car so she wouldn't see the back end when she got in it. Afterward, she was going to her boyfriend's place of business for a company cookout. I didn't really want her to attract the wrong kind of attention, so the sooner she got it off her car the better. I figured that her boyfriend or one of his friends/cow-orkers would spot the ribbon at the BBQ.

This morning I found out it worked EXACTLY as planned! She drove the 20 miles or so to the BBQ, and at some point her boyfriend's roommate spotted it. They thought it was hilarious and one of the guys took it and put it on his vehicle. She had no idea how long it had been on her car (that's why I was worried about her getting the wrong kind of attention). Perfect.

This morning she told me she thought it was either me or some contractors working in the garage that had done it. I was very, very disappointed that she would assume that anyone else might do such a thing. I work hard to maintain my reputation, and to have my work product attributed to construction workers was a real blow to my ego. I'll just have to work harder next time.

I already have a victim selected for the "Some Asshole Stole my Support Ribbon" magnet. The same one that had "For Sale - Driver Included" written in the dust on her rear window for a brief period.

Happy Birthday - Seven Years >-.

Fun on Beale St.

Memphis' Beale Street was the heart of black business in the era before the civil rights movement of the 1960s. It was also a nexus of the Memphis blues community. Thanks to Sun records, Elvis, and Stax records, Memphis contributed a unique sound to the American musical palette.

Tonight my cow-orker and I strolled along Beale, shopping for souvenirs and listening to live music. We heard some good music and we heard some shit (karaoke). I finally made it to a Coyote Ugly. It was fun, but there weren't very many people in the house, so there wasn't a lot of energy. Plus, there were a bunch of starched-shirt, button-down dweebs that flat creeped me out. No harm done, and we both made it back safely. It's late, so my bet is that I won't get to the fitness center early tomorrow. If it works out, great. If not I'll just have to have my ass beat like that poor shithead who was dumb enough to go into Coyote Ugly on his birthday. I know those two girls' belts left marks on his ass.

Howlin' Wolf says "hi."

Walking in Memphis

Yet another hotel swimming pool the size of a washtub. I guess I've got to get used to this. At least there's a decent fitness center (I went and inspected it). Hopefully I'll see it again.

Our hosts are providing lunches during our visit, and they're picking the food. Remember, I'm in Memphis. Monday it was FRIED CHICKEN (with cole slaw, baked beans, and PIE). They've already warned us that two days this week we're getting barbecue. I can almost guarantee that we'll have barbecue for dinner at least once this week.

Good news: Monday night I had four-cheese ravioli instead of BBQ or steak. Business travel makes it hard to watch what you eat. You have the opportunity to eat things that you can't get at home, and it's hard to rationalize eating the same old shit: Grilled chicken salads, grilled chicken sandwiches, etc. I also have a hard time throwing food away -- it's the way I was raised, plus I acknowledge the sacrifice of the animal I'm eating and feel an obligation to honor that sacrifice.

Tuesday morning I actually made it to the elliptical machine. Not as good as the one at work, but adequate. There's hope that at least this trip I won't backslide as much as I have during other trips.

These entries are getting boring. I'll be working on that.

Flower Gardens AGAIN

Yes, last weekend (Aug 11-12), I went BACK out to the Flower Garden Banks NMS for a weekend of diving fun. I thought you might like to see a couple of pictures of creatures I haven't published before. This is a delicious brown sea cucumber we saw crawling about the sea floor.


And this little beauty is yet another spotted moray eel.



Capt. Frank's Trip Report is an absolute must-read. One of the best I've read in a while!


Cheers!

Elvis Lives!

This is depressing.

I'm about to head off to Graceland and am certain to see Elvis, and since nobody reads this blog nobody will hear about (or see my pictures of) Elvis. Sad.

Well, the upside is that I will be hearing some great live blues. Unless some horrible fate befalls me, we're staying on Beale Street in downtown Memphis, and great live blues will only be a short walk away. I hope it won't conflict with my bedtime.

Tonight I gird my loins for yet another hotel stay complete with pool and fitness center and I'm full of motivation. There's something about airplane air that saps it out of me, though. After I arrive, I realize I've forgotten to pack my motivation with my running shoes, shorts, swim goggles, and swim trunks. I push them aside, curse the space that they took up in my suitcase, and repack them when I'm ready to come home. Maybe this time will be different.

I'll try and remember some souvenirs. I think Mistress Amber would be much scarier with mutton chop sideburns.

A Challenge for my Reader(s)

"Find a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life."
Attributed to Confucius, there's some logic to this sound bite, though
I don't fully subscribe to it.

I was chatting last week with an old friend, recently retired from a
high profile politically-appointed position with our state government.
We were discussing what his life was like after being an agency
Commissioner. He said that when he left the Commission, he didn't know what he was going to do with himself.

To answer this question, he called another former commissioner and
asked their advice. The suggestion he received was simple and to the point. It's a good suggestion even for those of us who have good jobs but feel like we're missing out on something.

He was told to "make a list of five things you would you be willing to do for free. Now, go find someone willing to pay you to do some or all of them."

My friend rattled off a list of things he enjoyed doing, and then described how he'd managed to create a consulting business that leveraged his personal strengths and professional experience.

I first tried this exercise when I read the book What Should I Do With My Life by Po Bronson and the Dalai Lama's book The Art of Happiness. My earlier attempts at this exercise weren't completely successful, primarily because a) what I'd be willing to do for free changes over time and b) I always skew the results to support whatever leisure activity I'm fixated on at the moment. However, the list my friend put together contained more personal characteristics (like "helping people develop consensus"). When I've done this exercise before, I've rejected anything related to my current career path. So with this new information, I'm rethinking my approach to this question.


So here's your challenge. In the "snide comments" section, share your list of "things you'd be willing to do for free." You may omit those things which would lead to employment as a porn "actor/actress," rock star, or taste tester. In other words, those things that we'd ALL include in our lists.

Update 9 Aug 2007 6:17pm:
When coming up with your list, assume that you don't have to worry about money. Just ignore that practical side -- you're looking for what you love.

Joy for Some, Irony for Me

Guess what I got in the mail on Friday? The official notification that my application for admission as a senior to our local university was accepted. I've seen the joy that many high school graduates feel when they get that letter. It means they've got a chance to be something. I didn't get that feeling.

I was really lucky when I graduated from high school. Thanks to my academics and test scores, I would have been accepted to almost any college I applied for. In retrospect, I don't think I picked the right school, but who's to say what's "right?" Maybe I went where I needed to be. Still, I can't shake the feeling that I wasn't aiming high enough when I picked schools. But I digress.

Once again, my acceptance to this university was a foregone conclusion -- I already knew what the answer was going to be because I met the criteria for "automatic" acceptance: A baccalaureate degree from an approved college. As lagniappe, I even had a graduate degree.

But think of the kids whose high school grades and test scores aren't as high as mine were. Those kids for whom the letter I received represents a chance to break the chains of ignorance and poverty and join the ranks of the educated. It embodies the promise of an education that will expose them to the larger picture and enable them to more fully understand the beautiful complexity of the world.

I do know the feeling of waiting for such a letter. I remember the protracted, edge-of-my-seat panic I endured after I applied to many graduate schools. My acceptance was anything but guaranteed -- it was a long shot. My undergraduate performance was lackluster, and thanks to ignorance and apathy my score on the standardized admissions tests I took were barely acceptable. I was absolutely terrified that I wouldn't be accepted, because I had a college degree that made me uniquely qualified to read the newspaper, but little else. Back to the closet in the file room with you, buddy.

The irony here is that, absent some radical and sudden change in my situation, I'm not going to our local university or any other school. I'm as smart as I'm going to get. I had more than my fair share of luck, and still ended up in a job with no future -- a dead end. Despite my education, I'm not utilizing it. It's not that I can't do anything else, it's that I have no idea what I'd rather be doing. The education and experience I've accumulated has become a burden rather than the key to a brighter future.

Well, this post got happy fast, didn't it? I'll shut it down before I make myself any giddier.

Wednesday in Austin

Well, I heard through the grapevine that Mistress Amber survived her surgery and all that remains is for her to travel through the gauntlet of pain until she heals. Poor thing. But, she's been through worse, so she'll come through just fine. Also, she's probably got more friends and family than anyone I've ever met, so she's not hurting for moral support.

Anyway . . . . here I am in sunny, downtown Austin hacking away on my laptop. What a geek! I'm a block from Town Lake and its first-rate jogging trail, and I KNOW Mistress Amber would bitch-slap me if I passed up that opportunity. Hell, I might even bitch-slap myself -- nobody's around to see . . . . Naaaaah, don't even go there.

Ultimately, my plan is to hit the pool hard while I'm here. I'm glad it's an indoor pool so I won't have half the hotel as an audience while I flounder (no pun intended -- I don't intend to bury myself in muck on the bottom!) around without my customary diving gear. It's very disconcerting to swim gear-free when you're used to having both air and swim-aids (fins & a buoyancy compensator). I don't know why I'm concerned about being seen, but that's just how I am. It would be a different story if I was rigged up to dive. That's manlier. :) OK, I've changed my mind -- my real reason for being happy it's an indoor pool is because I don't have to worry about skin cancer. That's my story. Of course, if it's full of piss-streaming disease vectors I'll probably run down to the river and swim in the bat droppings. At least that'll be somewhat more hygienic.

Oh, yeah, the work-related reason I'm here is to attend an environmental law conference. I have attended this conference every year for more than ten years, and it's always excellent. I always run into people I've worked with at some point over the past 20 years.

Update: 8:45pm
OK, I'm gonna get thrashed. Or I'm going to stay fat & flabby & out-o-shape. I wasn't responsible after all. I looked at the pool, and it was about 2m wide by 15m long. If there had been one other person using it I wouldn't have been able to swim. Plus, it was outside after all. I looked in the fitness center and they had a lot of machines, but they were almost on top of each other. I'll try & run early tomorrow morning, if I can.

Hunger started to tweak at me so I went to a Vietnamese place not far from the hotel, on 6th St. Afterwards, the unmistakable sound of live blues music wafted over from a bar across the street. There was no cover charge, so I went in and bought a coke & listened to a blues trio, the Jamie Krueger Group, whip out a few tunes. Jamie's vocals are strong, and he was getting a great tone out of his vintage Fender Strat. Nice & meaty, with that particular edge you hear from Texas blues guitarists.

Now I'm back in the hotel room, back on the laptop, working on an audio project I've been wanting to finish for a while.

Recuperation and Serenity

Mistress Amber is going into the hospital for surgery tomorrow (nothing too dramatic, but not day surgery, either). Please send vibes of serenity, health, and freedom from pain her way.

I'll miss her this next couple of weeks, but at least she won't talk too much when she returns. :)

Little Sara Gets Serious

Saturday, 28 July, I went on yet another dive trip to the gas rig "Little Sara." This weekend's dive gave me a couple of opportunities to practice a core diving skill: Avoiding panic.

The recent flooding throughout Texas has caused the rivers to pump massive quantities of fresh water into the Gulf. This stirs up silt, turns the water from blue to green, and affects the wildlife that live in salt water. Since Little Sara is so close to shore (around 10 mi), it was in the mixing zone of the flow from the Rio Grande river.

As you probably know, you are more buoyant in salt water than in fresh. As you descend, the increasing pressure compresses the air trapped in your wetsuit, your buoyancy compensating device (an inflatable bladder a diver wears on their back), and even your lungs. This makes you less buoyant and you sink faster.

As I entered the water and began my descent, all was normal. You could see distinct lines in the water where salt water and fresh water were mixing. You see a similar effect when you pour alcohol into water: kind of an uneven swirling in the liquid. When I hit the fresh water layer, I sank faster. What's worse, beneath me, at about 50 ft and getting rapidly closer, was an opaque silt layer where it got very dark and visibility dropped to less than a foot.

When I entered the cold, dark zone, I was trying desperately to keep my buddy in sight, I looked at my gauges to check my depth. My dive computer was off, indicating failure. This device reads the depth and time and tells me how long I can safely stay under water without suffering "the bends." I tried to restart it, but it was dead. The deeper I got the faster I descended, and I was distracted by the computer and couldn't compensate for buoyancy changes fast enough.

Luckily, I carry a backup computer and I moved it around so I could read it, juggling the camera rig lashed to my right wrist. Remember, the whole time I'm concentrating on my gauges, I'm falling faster and faster to the bottom through dark, murky water. I finally hit a rig crossbar on the bottom at around 97 ft. I signaled to my buddy that I was having gauge problems and that we should ascend to where I could see my gauges.

I learned later that my buddy was looking for stonefish that often sit, camouflaged, on top of the crossbars and in the silt on the bottom. Stonefish have a poisonous spine on their back that can inflict very serious damage on an unsuspecting diver. Like one that drops suddenly onto their back. Fortunately, we didn't find any stonefish.

I wish that were all. During my second dive I was hovering at around 35 ft, just watching the fish and the other divers. I slowly rotated around and found myself face to face with one of the largest barracudas I've ever seen -- probably 8 ft long. Its jaws were open and it was looking intently at me. I now know the feeling of ones "blood running cold." For the first time, I was afraid of a marine creature. It's funny, because I have dived with barracuda many times, and have no real fear of them. Even sharks don't really scare me, but having a 'cuda this size focused on me was a VERY unsettling experience. I found out later that I had a shiny metal tag clipped to the shoulder of my gear. The lesson: Don't hang shiny things from your gear.

Oh, well, at least I learned a lot from these dives! I kept my cool and kept the dives safe, and I am now a little better diver than I was before this trip.

Underwater Cameras

I have been very frustrated at how slow my underwater camera, a Sea and Sea DX-860G, was. There is a huge lag between the time you pull the trigger and when the shot is taken.

I compared the camera to several others during my Underwater Digital Photography class, and it was clear that mine was especially slow.

New digital cameras fire a "preflash" to help the camera set exposure settings. Most of the time, this preflash fires mere milliseconds before the main flash, so it looks like there's only one flash. With the damn DX-860, the preflash is a full 1/2 to 1 second before the main flash (which fires off a large external strobe). Needless to say, this gives skittish marine life plenty of time to get out of your shot.

The consensus was that my camera was defective and I asked the shop to send it in for repairs. The word back from the warranty center was that my camera was behaving correctly. That floored me -- it's almost worthless if you're shooting something moving, because it's so horribly slow. I'm going to try and completely obstruct the internal flash (the pre-flash) with black tape to see if I can keep from scaring off sealife, but the camera is still so slow that moving targets are really hit-or-miss.

If you're in the market for an underwater camera, I strongly recommend that you compare a few models hands-on before you buy. The DX-860 was the latest-and-greatest point and shoot from Sea and Sea, so the shop had to order it for me. As a result, I didn't have much of an opportunity to try it out. If I were doing it over again, though, I would probably go with a name-brand point & shoot camera (Canon, Nikon, Olympus) with an underwater housing from either the manufacturer or a high-quality after-market supplier. Sealife also has a couple of good models in this price range.

Your mileage may vary, but if you're looking at the DX-860 think long and hard about how important speed is, and for God's sake try it out before you buy it.

OK, Now What?

DIVEMASTER!!!!

I'm not going to be studying anything else, and the major financial impact I was planning isn't going to happen. So I decided to go ahead and sign up for the training required to become a NAUI Divemaster.

I'll admit it -- I'm a SCUBA junkie. Duh - have you noticed the pic at the top of this blog, or the name of it, or have you ever met me? Anyway, if you want to see me light up, just get me started talking about diving (for other topics, see the end of this post). I also haven't gotten out to interact with people as much as I need to, and I've become socially retarded (no, what you've been calling me is a different kind of retarded).

As a Divemaster, I'll have the opportunity to assist instructors with SCUBA classes, so I'll be able to help people learn about a subject I love. I'll even be able to lead "discover scuba" sessions, where someone who thinks they might like diving gets to try it out in a swimming pool for free. I'll be working with the motley crew of instructors, divemasters, and ne'er-do-wells that haunt the dive shop I use (Deep Blue Adventures); people I've dived with, learned from, insulted, and annoyed.

As if that weren't enough, once in a while I'll be able to lead dive trips where my way is paid! I'll have to work my butt off, but the cost of one or two trips to dive the Flower Garden Banks National Marine Sanctuary more than offsets the cost of the class.

Of course, this doesn't come without a cost. The physical and mental requirements for the rating are significant, so I'll be working hard for it. Most of the instructors already have it out for me, and the NAUI instructional program lets them abuse me shamelessly. Even after certification, assisting with classes will take up much of my "free" time, and I'll be doing grunt work, like hauling equipment. I might have to get liability insurance for some tasks.

OK, I'll keep you posted on my progress. As promised, here are

Other Conversations that Light me Up:
- Anything scatological
- Criticizing taxes
- American healthcare system
- Reproductive freedom (education, contraception, abortion)
- Who's the best Doctor in the Doctor Who TV show
- Excuse me, you appear to be on fire
- Appropriate uses for the epithet "douchebag"
- Australia

The Nursing Baby Has Been Smothered in its Crib

If you know my little secret, then you know what that means: it wasn't meant to be.

If you don't, then please rest assured that no small, tender, delicious, juicy, man-calves were harmed in the making of this post.

My Inner Troll

Good News!

I think I've got my inner troll tranquilized. Nothing wakes him up like Mondays, though (it's Sunday as I write this), so I don't want to make any firm commitments until then. To any of you reading this that have had to put up with my BS in person, I apologize for inflicting my bad attitude upon you.

Just remember, "If nothing changes, nothing changes." My motivation for haunting the "fitness center" had faded dramatically during the period of my infirmity, and the last two sessions I was really pumping bad vibes at Mistress Amber, who has been helping me get fitter. In penance, I have increased my efforts to be diligent in following her suggestions (even when she's not around) so that she can get some satisfaction in seeing me improve.

My vacation & money budget for 2007 is pretty much spent, and the outlook for 2008 is very much up in the air right now, as some of you know. My dive shop recently started teaching more NAUI courses than PADI courses, and I'm particularly interested in taking the NAUI divemaster class. That is the first in the series of "professional" level courses, and it would qualify me to conduct "Discover SCUBA" sessions, assist in instruction, and lead dive trips. It carries with it a lot more responsibility, but the training I'd receive would be extremely valuable (and very enjoyable). However, I'm already working and studying a bunch of other stuff and I don't really have time to spend on it, so it's one of those "if only. . . ." goals I'll try and achieve some day.

My final note for the day: I have decided to limit my use of the word "douchebag" to refer to politicians. I know you were concerned about this.

A little better, but not quite there

I'm away from home base (and the state, thank God), so my attitude is improving a little. See the relaxed expression on my face?

It looks like I won't lose my leg. Too bad: I was kinda hoping for a pegleg for the boats. :(

I wish you guys would enter snide remarks.

Discretion, Not Neglect

I apologize for not posting in a while (and for the upcoming silence). My attitude has been horrible lately, for a variety of reasons, and I thought it best to keep my mouth shut.

So I am.

I'll be back when I can keep a civil tongue in my head.

La Porte High School Reunion

I was very nervous about going to my high school reunion Saturday night. I get that way when I'm dropped into a situation where I feel alone, and since I haven't kept up with more than a couple of people from high school, I felt alone. I didn't have a core group of friends back then. My friends were a diverse collection of individuals whose company and unique qualities I valued, and they were not always compatible with one another. Sadly, many of them were not able to attend.

Throughout the evening I spent most of my time with a mixture of friends and passing acquaintances at a typical convention-style dinner table, and much of the pointless rambling that follows was inspired by our conversations around that piece of furniture. These were all people I knew back then, but not completely, as you'll see.

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed talking and joking with the people at our table: Lisa, Sharla, Kelly, Thor, Jim, and Wendy, plus Margaret, Chris and a few others. I don't want to push this over the top, but spending time with these folks was actually one of the high points in my life. It made me feel really good and enabled me to connect with something in my history -- an area I generally avoid. Most importantly, for a little while I no longer felt alone. I am grateful for having had the opportunity, and going forward I hope I can build adult friendships with all of them. Each one of them is more interesting and attractive now than they ever were as high schoolers, and I hope they feel the same about me, even if they would never say so and would probably just spew a stream of vulgarities.

As adolescents, you could identify some of our basic personality traits, but we were so awkward and young and stupid and insecure that we couldn't have predicted then how our lives would be now. The people I was with yesterday, myself included, have experienced life -- love, loss, birth, death, tragedy, joy -- all of which fundamentally defined who each of us became. The raw materials that constituted us as children pointed us along the paths we were to follow and predicted our reactions to life's events, but the people present at that reunion were fundamentally different -- creations of the synthesis of nature and experience. I can hear it now: you're no doubt saying "Jeebus, Kevin, for God's sake stop the mental masturbation." That is certainly an accurate description (and excellent advice), but the climax of the process resulted in a phrase that summed it up for me nicely: A cathedral is much more beautiful than its constituent stones.

I don't want this post to sound like a lofty philosophical treatise retracing the very well-worn path of aging and maturity. It's been done far better than I ever could, every aspect of it is outside my field of expertise , and more importantly it is boring. The cold, hard fact is that most of the people I was with last night were vandals, trespassers, arsonists, and people of dubious moral character. If it wasn't for the statute of limitations, I could have made a bundle with a couple of calls to crime-stoppers, although I don't think they pay you for turning yourself in. Nor will they give you a group rate.

There are some truly amateurish photos that are being collected, and I will post links to the better ones (i.e., the ones with me in them) as I find them. If the mood strikes me, I might even take liberties with Photoshop in order to sully the reputation of a few of the fine, upstanding graduates of the fine institution that was La Porte High School.

Please leave comments to this one -- I feel like a verbal brawl would top this topic off nicely, especially if I can work the word douchebag into the comments.

Updated Intel

All right, I can confess to being wrong as well as the next guy. Even faster if you hurt me. Mistress Amber (if that's her real name) is not Sajida Heiralla Tuffah after all. Mrs. Tuffah was, in fact, Saddam Hussein's wife. My bad. I need to monitor my valium dosage better.

After a series of lengthy discussions with Mistress Amber, I believe that her command of the Arabic language is simply not sufficient for her to have survived a marriage of any length to a lunatic that couldn't speak English. I don't believe that she'd appreciate his love offerings of the severed heads, hands, or private parts of dissidents in the spirit in which they were intended. Plus, she'd be like, all TOTALLY in his face all the time. Not that I'm a relationship expert (notwithstanding two successful marriages so far), but she just doesn't seem like she'd be a good personality match for the ruthless dictator type.

Which leaves open the question of who, in fact, she is. Today's session gave me some valuable insight into her training. I now believe she was an intelligence officer stationed at Guantanamo Bay trained by the U.S. CIA in "enhanced interrogation techniques." I'll review the evidence I collected today which supports my position.

One technique commonly used on enemy combatants and other "undesirables" is what are called "stress positions." The prisoner is required to stand or kneel in a very uncomfortable position for lengthy periods of time, until muscles cramp and the pain overcomes the prisoner. Today, I was forced to lay face-down on the floor, supporting my full body weight on just my toes and elbows, back perfectly straight, for as long as 40 seconds! This was done to me at least three times and resulted in moderate back pain and an embarrassing lack of dignity as my ordeal was being witnessed by several attractive ladies.

Another example of a technique used by military interrogators is the sexual humiliation of prisoners, as witnessed in the Abu Ghraib prison photos. To my dismay, I was not invited to participate in building any naked pyramids with the other gym patrons. Instead, I was forced to humiliate myself in front of them, to the great delight of Mistress Amber. This ordeal involved making me rest my neck on a large (3' diam) inflatable ball, feet flat on the ground, body facing up. I was then forced to repeatedly thrust my hips and naughty bits up toward the ceiling, which I presume concealed a video camera. This process was repeated at least two times (the first video must not have adequately recorded the shame and humiliation in my face).

Finally, I am pretty sure I caught Mistress Amber checking me out for the best places to attach electrodes. I only caught the briefest glimpse inside the equipment closet behind the desk, so I'll have to confirm the presence of an arc welder or other torture device during my next interrogation. Also, black hoods.

I'm still trying to determine the true identity of Mistress Amber, but it is extremely difficult to learn the real names of operatives engaged in "wet work," as the professionals call these kinds of activities in the movies. I'll keep you posted on my research in the hopes that some of my clandestine colleagues can confirm my fact-findings.

Pray for me, friends, as I feel my resolve slipping almost daily.

By the way, I think I hoovered three lbs of cherries today. By the end of the week I know I can polish off a full 4 lb container! If anyone knows any reason I shouldn't be doing this, I'd be more than happy for you to share that information with me. No, really.

I CAN SO Take Underwater Pics!

Here are a few I'm proud of (click the pics for bigger versions):

This guy (girl?) is one of a pair of nurse sharks, about 9 ft long, that were resting deep in a coral cave in Cozumel, Mexico.

This beautifully colored monster is about 8" long and is called a "squirrelfish." Some of their family members have HUGE eyes. I've seen them in Cozumel and at the Flower Garden Banks National Marine Sanctuary (where this was taken).

This little (1") bastard got me in trouble with my dive buddy. I was determined to get a good shot using my macro (close-up) lens. Unfortunately, his burrow was underneath a rope fastened to the bottom, and my strobe cast a shadow that hit him directly. The strobe scared off a hammerhead shark that had been circling above me that I totally missed.

I am just a beginner, so my pics aren't perfect, but at least I'm not a total tard when it comes to capturing wildlife. I will say, though, that it's a HELL of a lot easier to get good wildlife pictures above water. Underwater photography isn't for sissies.

Physical Progress!

As you are no doubt aware from my prior postings, or perhaps by "overhearing" my conversations in my completely private cubicle, I have slavishly devoted myself to improving my physical condition. I have been spending countless hours in the gym under the strict tutelage of a strangely terrifying professional trainer. She says her name is "Amber," but at the end of one of my workouts I'm certain I heard her referred to as Sajida Heiralla Tuffah, a woman known to have been smuggled out of Iraq in the early days of the war to testify about the atrocities she participated in under Saddam's regime.

In fairness to Ms. Tuffah, I'm still seeking confirmation of her identity, so don't take that as gospel. You see, I heard the name during a post-workout period of intoxication, either from the natural endorphins released from the exercise or the handful of Valium I took in case the endorphins took too long. Either way, she is quite skilled in the art of pain, so you can understand my confusion.

Actually, whoever she really is, she confirmed today that I am, in fact, making a little progress. To me, the end of every workout feels like "G*DDA**SH**F*CK I'M PARALYZED!!!" but she is actually paying attention to what's going on and she says I'm improving some. I think I'll start tipping her with real bills from now on. Well, depending on who she really is.

Just out of curiosity, is there any good reason not to eat 2 lbs of fresh cherries in one sitting? Just asking.

Be Careful in Coral Reefs

Dear Friend(s):

At the request* of my only known reader, I used some of my sophisticated photographic equipment to provide a close-up image of the coral burn I received in Cozumel. Unfortunately, the really close-up pics were either focused on leg hairs or showed nothing but slightly red skin. In either case, they were not appropriately dramatic for a blog such as this. I believe the picture included here is the most dramatic in my collection.

This completely unretouched photo is noteworthy in that a) it's gross, b) it shows that even after ten days coral stings leave a mark, and c) it's gross. I've discovered that I can make the burn itch by scratching it, make it hurt by scratching it harder or poking it with a pin, or completely forget it's there by not touching it.

I presume you're thinking, "Jeebus, doesn't this guy have anything better to do with his time, or have something meaningful to say?" To that offensive opinion I offer you a virtual smack in the face with a linen glove. I will, nonetheless, answer your questions:

No.


* OK, by "request" I should clarify that the topic of the leg came up tangentially in an email discussion and I threatened to (and actually did) post a close-up photo. Technically, it wasn't a request, per se.

Keepin' it Alive

Just wanted to post something new so you didn't lose interest.

I think I forgot to mention that our last day diving in Cozumel I got a little too close to some coral and got a nasty sting on my hand and leg. It wasn't too painful when I got it, but believe it or not I've still got a big red welt on my leg. I know you guys are curious, so I've taken the liberty of posting a pic. It itches a bit, but no real damage. This is why divers (smart ones, anyway) wear wetsuits even when the water's warm. If it had been a portugese man-of-war or some other free-floating jellyfish, it would have been much worse.

My other knee STILL hurts. I looked back through my posts, and saw that it first started hurting on May 27, after our four-hour walk. I'm worried about it, because every day I can't hit the gym or the treadmill or the pool at full capacity I'm losing an opportunity to build stamina for October. I couldn't finish my treadmill program this morning.

This afternoon I decided to say "bugger it all" and went down the hill to our community pool. I tried snorkeling, but there were too many kids that kept getting in the way so I strapped on my SCUBA gear. Keeping to the bottom let me avoid swimming into the sprogs and my tank was like a turtle's shell, ensuring they injured themselves if they dove down on top of me. Even with 1500# of air I got a good 1/2 hr of strong swimming in. I think I'll try to do this a few times a week after work: good for the legs and low-impact on the knees. I'm using my old Oceanic Vector blade fins. They're harder to kick with than my ScubaPro Twin Jets, but the additional resistance will help me out in the long run.

At the pool, my only worry was that the other adults would think that I was there to catch illicit views of their precious semi-aquatic disease vectors. I'm glad that second-stage regulators are designed to be puked through, because I did my very best to stay as far away from any living creature as possible.

I've scheduled some modifications to my SCUBA gear: I'm having the low-pressure inflator hose shortened 3" to accomodate my emergency air horn which will remove this big loop that develops over my left ear. I'm also having my computer/gauge console mounted to a quick-disconnect so I can separate it from my regulator and pack it safely in my carry-on.

I'm Famous!

Down at the very bottom of this page, you'll see a link to the "Salty Dog Blues & Roots" Podcast. Taped in Melbourne, Australia, the show is aired on Port FM 107.1 in Port Douglas, QLD, AU and over the Internet as a Podcast or MP3 download. It's my favorite podcast.

I became a paid subscriber and left Salty a Skype message, and he included my recording in his podcast this week (titled "GENERATE")! It's a two-hour show, and my bit is around 10 minutes in. Salty's a wild man and his style takes some getting used to. If you like that kind of music, I strongly recommend you subscribe to it: Learn more at http://www.salty.com.au/.

Home Again

Sorry about that last post -- I fell asleep several times while I was writing it, and there are parts I don't even remember! I don't know what I was trying to say about the do-rag, but I did buy one and it does protect my scalp from sunburn.

Anyway, we made it home safe. Our last dive was finished at around 4:30 yesterday (Sunday), and you have to wait 18-24 hours before you can safely fly. An airplane at 40,000 ft. is NOT a good place to develop DCS (the "bends").

I made this trip primarily for the purpose of training for a mega-dive trip that I have planned for October. It will involve strong currents, advanced buoyancy control skills, and the ability to get off and on small boats in rough seas. I practiced all of these this trip, except that the seas weren't rough at all. I had a de-brief with my instructor this morning and we went over lessons learned. As you could tell from my previous posts, one of my big lessons was to be more diligent in keeping up with my buddy and the rest of the group -- it's easy to get separated when the current is whipping along at 1-2 knots. If you stop, in no time at all you're pulled far away from your group and your chances of being recovered begin to fade, especially if you aren't in a country that has a good Coast Guard. I was diving into caves and holes in the coral formations and the current there is much lower than the rest of the water column. As a result, the rest of the group moved with the current while I stayed stationary. That was very annoying to the group leaders.

My biggest disappointment was the photography. Very few of my pictures came out well. I forgot to use the fiber-optic cable that connects the camera to the strobe, but I can't say that's totally to blame. The camera I have is simply not the best underwater camera -- it doesn't give you enough control over the detailed settings, and VERY slow, and you can't turn off the pre-flash, so it scares fish off before it takes the actual picture. It's a Sea and Sea DX-860G camera/housing/strobe package. The land pictures it takes are great -- I've just had fits getting it to take good underwater pictures. In all fairness, drift dives in strong currents aren't the easiest place to get good pictures. You have to contend with tweaking the camera, tracking your subject, maintaining excellent buoyancy, and contending with the current at the same time. I'll post a few of my better ones here soon.

On the whole, this was a good trip. The service at the Cozumel Palace was outstanding -- very luxurious and convenient to downtown. There is a cruise ship dock nearby, so there's a Carlos 'n Charlies, Senor Frogs, Hard Rock, and Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville right there, in addition to a bunch of craft, jewelry, and souvenir dealers. There's plenty to do, even if you don't dive. Here's a tip: Most of the shops sell exactly the same stuff, so the farther you get from the main drag and the cruise ship dock, the cheaper everything is. You can even haggle some in the shops deeper in town.

Cozumel is a very safe place. The community survives on tourism, and the locals simply don't tolerate crime -- I understand that criminals are booted off the island. We never felt nervous (except when crossing streets: ALTO seems to mean "slow down if you want to").

If you want a nice long weekend getaway, I would recommend this trip. Just check into the best time of year to go since it can get really crowded. You DON'T have to be a diver to enjoy it, though Cozumel is definitely known for diving. FunJet vacations will arrange air transport and lodging for a fixed price. The Palace is all-inclusive for its entire network, so if you want to go across the channel to the mainland, there's a HUGE Palace hotel there, and you can use their facilities, eat their food, etc., as if you were staying there. There are cheaper places to stay in Cozumel, without a doubt, but the Palace offers some pampering and service that we all deserve once in a while. You will, however, need to be aware that some times the planes get delayed a couple of hours, so you need to stay in contact with FunJet to avoid wasting time or missing a flight. They track the schedules of the Aero Mexico charter flights.

If you want to give diving a try, the hotel offers a SCUBA "resort course" which will let you dive once a day without getting certified (you spend a few hours in training and are supervised through your dive). Snorkling isn't limited and can be a lot of fun. The pools are magnificent, well-maintained, and interesting (one has a swim-up bar, of course). There's even a little channel so you can swim from the main pool around to where the live entertainment is. If you are into sun-worshipping, there are ample opportunities for that, as well.

Physical fitness: I never swam so hard in my life. I'm going to start tagging along with some of Deep Blue's open water classes in the pool so I can practice swimming and build up those muscles and my stamina.

That's all for this trip -- I'll put some photos up somewhere and let you know where to look.

Thanks for reading!

Oops, Sunny Skies!

Sorry, you'll just have to be jealous. When our boat (the Nuria) came to pick us up at 12:30, the rain had pretty much subsided.

It took us over an hour to get to our first dive site, Palancar Gardens. The dive was interesting, but I got in trouble again for getting so engrossed in exploring caves in the coral formations that I fell behind the group and my buddy had to come back and search for me. Poor form. In fact, he pointed into one cave, and what I saw was the biggest scrawled filefish I'd ever seen. I completely missed the huge stone crab (its body was a foot in diameter, at least) clinging to the wall by my head, which is what he wanted me to see.

I bought a very sexy bandana/do-rag that I saw in the hotel's dive shop, and of course my buddy had to get one too. Later, I bought another that said "Cozumel." They're great for keeping my bald spot from getting sunburned.

I saw a beautiful hawksbill sea turtle, a spotted drum, a green moray eel (most of the eels I've seen have been spotted morays), and some people even saw another nurse shark on the bottom.

My camera battery died right before I saw the turtle (it's always something).

I got my first professional massage today. I was late, but they did what they could with her tight schedule. I'm falling asleep and need to get up early

Sunday Morning -- RAIN!

Well, you folks who were envying me for being in the sunshine while San Antonio was flooding can rest easy -- it's raining here. We're diving at noon anyway, but it's still a disappointment.

Yesterday we made two day boat dives and one night dive. The current was very strong on our second dive, and I surfaced a good distance from the boat and had to wait to be picked up. Might have been scary if I hadn't been between two other dive boats.

Most of my pictures this trip have been crap. My first dive I left my camera on the boat to keep from getting distracted, and I saw many things I wanted to take pictures of. Every other dive has been hard to find anything worth photographing. Also, the pics I take aren't looking good. The clear water is screwing with my settings (I know, poor baby!)-- either the flash won't go off because there's too much light or the flash overexposes the shot. I've gotten a little too close to a few animals (like a scorpionfish), but I didn't have the right lens on the camera and he ended up a little fuzzy.

We found a den where two 8' nurse sharks were resting and I got a few good pictures, but since I had to reach the camera down into the hole, I aimed too high and didn't get them centered. At least I saw them! They were beautiful, but they were the only sharks I've seen.

Last night we did a little dive off the shore of the hotel and saw a few little critters that were amusing (eels, pilot crabs, cleaner shrimp, and juvenile queen angelfish.) There was also a large cannon.

My knee was absolutely killing me -- We walked for about four and a half hours yesterday afternoon exploring downtown, after two boat dives and before the shore dive and I though I was going to lose the leg.

Well, gotta run. See you all!

Diving Cozumel

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post anything. As predicted, it's not been simple to connect to the net for anything but email.

The trip they set up is run by FunJet vacations, who chartered the AeroMexico flight and set us up in the all-inclusive Cozumel Palace hotel. If you're into unlimited food, drink, and enterainment, it's a good deal. It seems like many tourists are divers, but the pools have been full of people (mostly 20-somethings), a few families, very few kids. It's not the cheapest place to stay, so the clientele is a little better.

Friday's first dive was great. I saw all kinds of fish, and they didn't bolt as I approached, so I was looking forward to bringing my camera on the second dive. Of course, when I did have my camera I didn't see much and the fish were not as cooperative. Visibility was good (75ft or so, water temp was around 82), but it was better than the Gulf of Mexico.

There were no more dives on Friday.

I'll post a summary of Saurday's activities tomorrow.

Eve of departure

Tomorrow I'm leaving for my first trip to dive Cozumel, Mexico.  It seems like everyone else I know has dived there many times, but this is my first.  There are strong currents, so it's a drift dive (they drop you in the water, you float with the current, then they pick you up when you surface).

 

My friend, Andy, the SOB who strapped on my first BC and got me totally hooked on diving, said I needed to be very careful.  Apparently, the water's so clear you can't determine how deep you are without your gauges and you can easily go below safe depths.

 

I understand our hotel has wireless internet access, so I'll try and make a few posts while I'm there (and maybe even a pic or two), but if you remember Australia, I had nothing but trouble with blogging from the road via email.  We'll see how it goes.

 

Up at four, liftoff at seven, under water after lunch!  Buen fin de semana!

Watch This Space!

I've got several new expeditions planned for 2007, including another once-in-a-lifetime dream trip!

The blog has been renamed from Homeys-Place to KevDiver. I'm revitalizing this blog so I can include future expeditions and home-front news, so check back often!